I hurt
by the chameleon
Summary: PLEASE DEAR GOD REVIEW!!!Bored, Johnny explores his house. pretty weird fic, but please read and review. oh, and the title has nothing to do with the story, it just sounded better than
1. sCRAPPY

I hurt By the chameleon(with help from slunchy, my homeless friend)  
  
It was 11:11, and Johnny was plopped down on the couch. He hadn't killed in awhile, he was tired of drawing happy noodle boy, and he didn't feel like brainfreezies or frooty pops. He was bored, and thought he would d some exploring in his house. So he raced through several halls, and walked down a buncha stares. He had been thinking of maybe making a mapof all he passageways, but it didn't seem worth it. He was walking through a long, dark hallway. He heard horrible moaning, screams, and he thought he heard a cow moo. He was ready to turn back, when he remembered, "oh yeah, I'm insane." So went on. STOP STARING AT ME PAPER CLIP!!!!!!!!.  
  
Sorry about that, now back to the story. He was walking, when suddenly he saw the horrific and truly evil image of.  
  
DUN DUN DUN!!!!! Scrappy doo(for those of you who don't know, he's Scooby doo's "nephew")! "hiya!" he said, in his annoying little crackbaby voice.  
  
"get away from me!" Johnny screamed.  
  
"got any beer?"  
  
"I hate you." With that, he took out a knife and chopped off the bottom half of scrappy. "you'll pay for making scooby doo even crappier!"  
  
"prepare to die!" scrappy said  
  
"you're joking." Johnny picked him up and squeezed him.  
  
Fists waving madly in the air, scrappy screamed "c'mon, lemme at 'em!"  
  
Johnny slammed him to the ground, splintered wood flying everywhere.  
  
"He doesn't seem so tough, huh, uncle Scooby?" scrappy muttered, writhing on the floor.  
  
Starting to get annoyed, Johnny brought his boot down on scrappy's head, smashing it open. Blood and vital head parts flew everywhere  
  
"I'm gonna get you! " scrappy somehow managed to say.  
  
"JUST SHUT UP!!!" Johnny screamed. Then he dragged scrappy into another room where he found a blowtorch. He turned it on, burning what was left of scrappy, all while he was screaming "PUPPYYYYY POWWWER!!!!" eventually, only a charred black heap remained, that finally shut up. But just to make sure, he jammed a couple knives in him. Freaked out but somewhat interested, Johnny walked on. Well, that's the end. The next chapter will be soon.  
  
No it won't  
  
Shut up slunchy! 


	2. Jhonen the pickle

Greetings fellow monkeys! The second thrilling installment of this epic series would have been brought to you before, but I got the stomach flu and it was bad. So, without further to do, the second chapter!!!  
  
Walking on, Johnny came to a rusty metal door. He kicked it open, and saw some weird giant pickle smoking pot. It was writing a comic book, with a bunch of monkeys surrounding him. "Jhonen Vasquez?" Johnny asked, puzzled.  
  
"How'd you get here?" Jhonen asked, then fell over  
  
"I live here." Johnny replied  
  
"oh, well. Attack!!!" The monkeys suddenly had knives, and ran towards Johnny.  
  
"this is getting really stupid." Johnny sad, smashing a few monkeys with a hammer.  
  
The monkeys then combined into a giant monkey thingy, with an axe. He ran towards Johnny, hurling his axe at his face. Johnny blocked with the hammer, then pulled a tazer out of the trenchcoat he was wearing, and shocked that monkey good, he blew up, then Jhonen suffered a brain seizure.  
  
"well, there goes what's left of my anity. hey, a Tv!" Johnny ran over and started watching scumby. After awhile, a commercial played:  
  
"Do you feel this way about staying home? You will when you go all digital with cocks!"  
  
"stupid commercials" Johnny muttered.  
  
DA EnD!  
  
The next chapter will be typed up and vomited to you sometime in the future. I like chicken. 


	3. basement wars

Okay, well, here's your next chapter. I don't have any resolution planned, At least not until I do a lot more chapters. So basically this is going to go on for a while. I really like reviews, so if you're reading, this, PLEASE review. If I don't get review I may not continue the story because I don't think anybody is reading it. So enough type, let's get on with the story!!!!  
  
Johnny walked into the next room, and saw Darth Vader and a short bald guy fighting. Vader of course had a light saber, the bald guy a hammer. Vader slashed at the bald guy, who jumped up, dodging it, then kicked Darth Vader in the face, knocking him over. He bald guy brings the hammer hurtling toward his face, but Vader cuts it in two with his light saber, then chases the bald guy into another room full of weapons. They both pick up knives and slash, block, dodge, and other fight-type stuff. Vader gets a bow and arrow and shoots an arrow at the bald guy who, very coordinated, grabs it in midair and stabs Darth Vader in the arm with it. The bald guy then runs toward him, carrying a huge axe, but Vader grabs a mace and smashes him in the head. Dead, the bald guy falls to the ground.  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
"Good night mommy." A little boy said to his mom.  
  
"Good night, sweetie.'  
  
Tired and comphy in his bed, the little boy goes to sleep. Suddenly, he throws up. I mean, real bad, there are hot dogs, and corn and stuff.  
  
He runs into the next room where his parents are sleeping. "Mom, I threw up."  
  
"Oh no." his mother says. Then suddenly, he has diarrhea!!!! And his three sisters all have diarrhea too. I mean, it's everywhere!!! "Oh dear god." his mom says, watching the poopy horror.  
  
So she takes them to the hospital, and while she's driving the youngest sister has diarrhea in the car. When they finally get to the doctors office, the doctor tells them the sad news. "I'm afraid your kids have a severe case of poopyness. Water them constantly to avoid dehydration, and they should be better in two days. Two days and 13 diarrheas later, the kids are better. When suddenly." Mommy! Arrgh!!!!' KERSPLOOSH!!!!!  
  
THE END!!!!  
  
Please forgive me for that. So anyway, here's the story.  
  
"Wow! What are you doin' here, Darth Vader?" Johnny asked.  
  
"I have come for you." "Really?"  
  
"Uh. yeah."  
  
"You must face me in a duel." Darth Vader said.  
  
"Um, okay."  
  
Johnny got out a light saber (he carries one around, he just doesn't like using it) and they fight. Suddenly, Darth Vader slices of Johnny's. uh. hair. Yeah, hair.  
  
"Ahh! My hair! Why'd ya do that, Vader?"  
  
"There's something you must understand. Tell me, what did nailbunny tell you about your father."  
  
"He told me enough, he told me you killed him." Johnny replied.  
  
"Then there's something you must know. I didn't kill your father, I married your father."  
  
"Oh, well that would explain a lot."  
  
"Son, take of my mask.'  
  
"But father, you're too ugly."  
  
"I don't care, I want to smell my son with my true nose." So Johnny took off his mask, revealing. a leprechaun!  
  
"hehehe!!!!" were the leprechauns last words before vanishing.  
  
"this can't get any weirder." Johnny thought. (oohhh, internal conflict!)  
  
END! 


	4. eskimo johnny

Here's chapter four. I won't say anything else.  
  
Johnny walked on through his house, and came into a new room.  
  
"Well this is weird, there's nothing here." Johnny said to himself. And it was true, too. It was just a completely bare room. No bald people, pickles, or diarrhea babies. Johnny was going to walk on, when he noticed something in the corner. It was a hole, bout the size of a grapefruit. And it seemed to be getting bigger. It got to the size of the wall, and then spread to the other walls. Eventually all around him was nothing but a black void. And the ground around him was disappearing! He fell down into the void for what could have been seconds, hours, or days. He suddenly hit the ground, and realized it was snowing. He was in the artic, but for some reason he wasn't cold. He walked on for awhile, and saw a stick on the ground, and picked it up. It was a pretty nice stick. Yeah, he really liked it. I mean, it was a GREAT stick. "I love you." Johnny said to his new friend the stick. Suddenly, he turned and saw an Eskimo staring at him, and he looked mad. He was about Johnny's height, in fact he looked sort of like him, only dressed in green Eskimo-ish clothing. "gimme my stick." He said angrily.  
  
"No! It's mine now! You can't have it!" Johnny yelled.  
  
"Then I'll have to take it from you."  
  
The odd Eskimo tackled Johnny to the ground, punching him. "you can't have the stick!" Johnny yelled , pulling out a knife.  
  
"I'd give up my life for my stick!" he said.  
  
Suddenly, a walrus came buy.  
  
"Rehhhh!!! " it said, charging into the Eskimo and sending him flying.  
  
"Well that was weird." Johnny said. Suddenly, he was back in his house.  
  
  
  
HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYY KIDS! How'd you like to be in the next chapter of this incredibly crappy story? Well you can't! At least not all of you, but one of you can! just tell me why you would want to be in the next chapter in 30000000000 words or less! And for x-tra credit, tell me who the mystery Eskimo was! Who? Who? WHOOOOOOOOO? Send all responses by review(this is NOT!!!!! A stupid ploy to get more reviews).enter at your own risk. 


End file.
